Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I’m all about being real.
Not only in the context of always being myself and wanting you to be yourself, but also accepting what is even if a situation is flat out crummy.
Although I am an optimist and do support being positive in the midst of unfavorable circumstances, I don’t think it’s beneficial to look for the bright side in every single situation; as that’s what I call false optimism. If a situation sucks, it’s ok to say “This downright sucks!”, why pretend?
Hear me out….
Lately I’ve been ruminating on the subject of “I have to vs. I get to”.
It has come up numerous times in the past several months and a couple of weeks ago, a conversation lead me to seeing this phrase in a more ideal light.
Most of the time when I have heard this, it’s been in the context of work life.
Without thinking about it, most people say “I have to go to work”, especially when expressing dissatisfaction in a career.
Some believe that others would benefit from a change in vocabulary and instead say “I get to go to work” because although he or she may not enjoy his or her position, it is paying for everything that person has. Simply put, an attitude of gratitude.
While it is true to some degree that changing your vocabulary can shift your mindset and make a condition more endurable, we can only trick our minds so much before it wears off. In my experience, this approach is not effective over the long term. Other common examples are:
-“I have to get a workout in”
-“I have to eat healthy”
-“I have to have my coffee to function”
-“I have to meet my friend after work” (because there’s no other good time).
What if instead of modifying our minds, we actually designed a life where we could say “I get to” and mean it? How life changing would it be to not feel the mental weight of “having” to do something but instead choosing to do something. Having a lifestyle of options…
Well here’s the undisclosed…the only way to live a life of “I get to” is to have more time.
In my opinion, waking up to an alarm clock five days per week with barely enough time to enjoy your morning coffee just to go somewhere for minimum 8 hours plus a commute leaving barely enough time for a workout, dinner, and possibly an hour of free time sounds like a drag. And for nothing but a pay check?
Life is the most precious gift anyone could ever have and spending it in monotony for decades sounds like a complete misuse and lack of acknowledgement.
Believe it or not, when you choose to do something, your body responds to it in a whole different way than when you are doing something because it’s the only option you have.
Most people with 9-5s work out in the very early morning or right after work because it is the only option they have other than skipping it all together.
While I give those people props, those workouts are not nearly as powerful as when you are not on a time limit.
Think about it…When you’re working out in the early morning you are under pressure to get everything plus a shower in because you don’t want to be late to your job. You are also not fully present because you have to be conscious of time…Well guess what, your body recognizes this.
When you work out in the evenings, you’re using what little glycogen and energy you have left from the day to squeeze in a workout. Because of this, we tend not to push ourselves as hard as we would have if we weren’t burned out from the day. Well guess what, your body recognizes this too!
All of these factors contribute to your stress levels, hormone levels, dopamine levels, etc…This applies to so many things, not just working out.
Imagine a life of listening to your body and intuition.
Waking up to the sun on your face instead of before the sun rises because you’re getting the rest your body wants and your soul deserves.
Savoring every bit of that espresso and having the time to make yourself a cold pressed juice to go along.
Being mentally prepared to hit the gym or that beach yoga class because you’re a boss babe and you want to. And finishing strong because you CAN!
Spending most days in bliss because you have work-life integration and are helping other beauties find their callings.
But at the same time, being able to cry for as long as you need on certain days because you don’t have to put on a show for an office full of people and respond with “good and yours?” when they ask how your day is going.
Being able to schedule an out-of-the-blue spa day with your girlfriends because you GET to, not because you requested it two weeks in advance.
Staying up past midnight watching your favorite show because you’re on YOUR time and don’t have to worry about waking up at a specific hour just to make someone else a little richer.
This is what we all desire and no it’s not just for trophy wives and girls with rich parents. It’s possible, it’s within you, and it’s sure not going to happen working a 9-5 for the next forty years.
With that, I encourage you to step into yourself. What calls you, what sets YOUR soul on fire? Whatever it is, that’s what you’re meant to be doing and that’s how you will create a life of “I get to”.
We’re all called to different paths, therefore I can’t tell you exactly the steps needed to pursue this vision, but what I can tell you is to take the first step and let the universe know you’re ready. The time is now. You’re a Boss Girl, you deserve it, and it’s all within you.