The reality of today is that we live in a very sensitive society.
From an early age, we tend to be told that we can do anything, that we are smart and talented, and that we are beautiful or handsome in every way.
This is wonderful for building self-esteem. While it is true that words of affirmation are important and that we all have gifts that deserve to be celebrated, it has also resulted in a generation of sensitive little flowers.
There are certain realities that people are quick to reject because they live in a bubble and think that others are being unkind when in actuality they are relaying valid, beneficial messages.
There are even things that are intended to be cute or funny (not at anyone’s expense) that people find a reason to complain about.
One good example that I recently heard is when my Bliss Project sister Angie Lee changed the name of her podcast to Rich Bitch. There were women emailing to tell her that the new name was “so offensive”.
The name change was intended to rhyme and be clever and catchy so that listeners would remember it. Well done Angie, I honestly can’t think of a better name for it as the content is mostly about money and building a personal brand. Not to mention it’s HER podcast, therefore she can name it what she wants.
We’re not always going to agree with how people phrase things, however if we choose to dismiss a thought or idea simply because it is not stated in our preferred ways, we are choosing to miss out on information that may be vital to life. Yes choosing.
The other day I was listening to The MFCEO Project Podcast with Andy Frisella.
Anyone who has listened to him even once can tell you he gets straight to the point and is the literal definition of “No BS”.
He swears every other word, has no problem calling people out and using their name, and is very open about when he “1000 % disagrees” with someone.
A lot of people may consider this behavior “offensive” and yet he has an enormous following, an incredibly successful nutrition company, and makes more money in one month than most will make in a lifetime.
Why is this? Simple, because he offers value. What more could you ask for, regardless of how hard-ass he comes off?
There is one thing he mentioned in a recent podcast that really resonated with me.
He was talking about how when you set aspirations, to make them BIG, BIG, BIG! Bigger than you think you want. If you want to make 10 million, be ambitious and say 100 million. Knowing that you have something significant to work for means you will be putting an immense amount of heart and soul into everything you do which will lead you to think outside of the box and go to the ends of earth to make your dream your reality.
He then made a very polarizing statement that really got me thinking…
He said “I know your teachers and counselors who haven’t done shit taught you to set small attainable goals, but small attainable goals is how you earn a small attainable life.”
Blunt, but it couldn’t be more true. Why are we conditioned from a young age to listen and take advice from teachers, guidance counselors, parents, or just adults in general?
What amazing things have they done to make someone else’s life better?
What amazing things have they done to make their own lives worth talking about?
Take a good look at most of the adults that you grew up around and ask yourself… Are they living MY dream life? If the answer is no, then what are you doing taking lifestyle direction from them?
Truly they have done nothing but take a traditional path with low risk and decent reward. While there’s nothing wrong with those career choices, if you’re reading this blog, I know that’s not what you’re about.
I know you have a fire within you and are meant for something deeper.
In Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before, she talks about how all people fall under a certain tendency when it comes to meeting inner and/or outer expectations. My tendency is that of a Questioner. One who needs to ask “why?” when met with an expectation and only follows through if it makes sense and he or she deems it worth it.
There could not be a better description of me and the same held true when I was a kid. I never understood why kids would be told “respect your elders”, “listen to your teachers”, or “parents know best”.
I mean yes, they deserve a certain degree of up front respect, but only because they are human and that is a birthright, not because they are older.
Adults or not, I still believed they needed to earn my respect, it wasn’t just going to be given.
Why in the world would I put someone on a pedestal just because they have more life experience than me?
Now I am no way advocating for being intentionally rebellious or insubordinate, however still to this day I believe in listening to someone because they are an example of something I want, not because they are in a position above me, whether that be an older adult, a manager, or someone trying to give me unsolicited counsel.
I can even remember when I was 18 years old and I would go into a classroom of 6th and 7th graders to tutor every Monday. The teachers told them to use “Miss” before my name and I specifically requested to just be called by my name. In my mind I was their equal and I was there to help, not to make anyone feel like I was above them.
The message I am trying to convey here is that it’s important to be selective of who you take advice, ideas, and direction from.
The people who I follow and whose advice I apply to my own life are the ones who are living a life beyond my wildest dreams. My yoga teachers, my life coaches, people who write books, people who create podcasts, people who plan retreats, people who have seen the world.
Why would I take information from anyone who is living an entirely mediocre existence?
I know in my heart, I do not exist to be mediocre and with all my being, I know you don’t either. Today, I am here to remind you of that.
So next time you find someone giving you life tips, question everything.
-Who are they?
-What have they done to be amazing in this world?
-What kind of life do they currently live?
If they are your person, follow them, find out who they follow, and keep finding ways to create magic until your life is magic.
If they are not your person, wish them well and then find someone who can lead you down the path of higher purpose that you are here for. Gift the world with YOUR badassery.