Lifestyle · Self Expression

I’ve Always Wanted to be Her

Manic Pixie Dream Boots
Manic Pixie Dream Room

Ever since I was a teen, my alter ego has been a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who lives in a big city. Screw the part about “existing only to teach soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures”, I’m talking about her looks and matching personality.
While most teen girls envision the most ideal version of themselves as the homecoming queen who grows up to become the picture-perfect boss lady with a smokin’ hot husband and meets her photoshoot worthy friends for brunch every week, I’ve always admired the free thinking nonconformist.
You know the girl from the movies with blue hair who wears the same tattered AF leather jacket in every scene, but it doesn’t matter because it completes her?
She wears a ton of gaudy rings, has chipped black nail polish, oversized glasses, and drives a beater red VW beetle.
She’s usually a passionate musician or writer with a shitty side hustle and the inside of her apartment looks like a mismatched overly-cluttered vintage store. (Perfect example being Sophia from the short lived Netflix series #Girlboss)

Secretly I’ve always envied that girl and full disclosure, still kind of want to be her. Not that I desire to be broke as a joke having no other options but frayed second-hand clothes and a car that might stop on the freeway on my way to Oakland.
It’s her fiercely authentic nature and unstoppable but New Age, beatnik demeanor that I adore so much.
I’ve always had so many questions about her though…
-Where are her parents and why doesn’t she ask them for help?
-How does she not get depressed from the constant place of struggle and instability?
-Does she even think twice about her credit score or the number in her bank account?
No matter what, she seems to be unfazed by financial insecurity or any roadblock that life tries to knock her backwards with. She’s a warrior and she’s no joke; an irrefutable badass.

Many times I’ve asked myself over the years, “Why can’t I be like her?”

But the other day, I was reading a very powerful article about reinventing yourself and it finally hit me…

Why can’t I be like her? There is nothing stopping me.

I realized that I am the author of the story of my life. I get to decide where the scenes will take place, which characters I want to channel, and the image I want to portray.
That’s when I decided. I’m going to live the story I want to tell.
And I’m here to tell you, you can too. It’s all within you. How miraculous is that?

The first thing you need to know is that whomever you want to be is authentic to you. You were given that want for a reason, it’s your divine assignment to create her, to live her out.
We live in a world where people hold in the most lively versions of themselves because of Imposter Syndrome. #Truthbomb sister friend, the most authentic version of yourself is who you desire to become, not who you currently are. What would be inauthentic is pretending to be someone because you’re trying to live up to an image you think you’re “supposed” to be.
So design her, step into her. She’s magical.

If you’re ready to step into her, let’s do it together. I want to gift you with a guide on how to become her. Here are the steps:

1. Grab a journal and time block at least 2 hours to write out and get clear on this true version of yourself. (Remember this is not the new you, but the true you. Whoever she is, she is already within you.)

2 . Find an inspiring, distraction free place to map out your vision. It could be a trendy coffee shop that gives you creative energy or a zen candle lit spa-like space that allows ideas to flow to you while you sip tea. It’s all up to the individual, this is about you.

3. Write out every possible detail you can about this ideal version of you.
•What does she wear?
•How does she talk?
•What are her interests?
•How does she spend her weekends?
•What does her social media look like?
•How does she decorate her home?

4. Put yourself in environments authentic to her.
•Yoga class
•American Ninja Warrior
•Goddess circles
•Activist campaigns
•Farmers markets
Wherever this true you likes to spend her time, make that your regular.

4. Up-Level your environment.
It’s important to be rigid about what goes into your consciousness.
•Is your apartment constantly cluttered? It’s time to start keeping it organized.
•Is there a negative person in your life? It’s time to let that person go or at least create boundaries.
•Do you eat greasy bar food every weekend? It’s time to trade that for a whole food health cafe.
This true version of you deserves only the best.
Find a “Power Piece”. Something you absolutely love and can wear or take with you so you can look at it every day. A piece of jewelry, a tattoo, a traveling crystal. This will serve as a reminder for you to keep stepping into your authenticity. It should feel like magic every time you look at it.

5. Act the part until you become the part.
Eventually it will feel natural, so be patient with yourself, enjoy & document the process, and remember #YOUGOTTHISBABE



A Day in My Life · Lifestyle

Lightbulb Moment: Bust the Door Down

Door PhotoLightbulb Moment Selfie
I absolutely love lightbulb moments! I get an adrenaline rush whenever I have an epiphany because not only does it show me my frequency and the type of energy I’m putting out, but to know that I was given the “Big Magic” to create content and share a thought that could spark a fire in others really makes me glow within.
So here’s the light bulb moment I had recently…
This coming March will be my second time attending a women’s weekend retreat that last year had a bigger impact on my life and how I see the world than any other experience in the 26 years of my existence. So big that I plan to go every year until the day comes that it stops running.
Last year, I attended alone not knowing what to expect so the most I could do was receive and send out love and warm vibes.
This year, I feel called to take a different approach and I want to come with something tangible to give each beautiful soul in our tribe. At this event, each attendee is given a gift bag with healthy snacks, beauty products, books, and other treats.
As an up and coming artist, I would love to design a piece of art that each sister could take home; I haven’t finalized on the medium yet, but what I do know is I would want it to have a powerful quote accompanied by a soothing painting.
One that each boss babe can look at every day and remember how amazing she is and to keep following her dreams.
Today (after putting it off for weeks) I finally reached out to the team that is organizing the event and asked if I could contribute to the gift bags.
I had no idea what the outcome was going to be because I wasn’t sure if I had missed the deadline for sponsors or if everything contributed to the gift bag had to meet a certain standard or be carefully reviewed before being given a definitive answer.
That’s when the lightbulb moment hit me…
It didn’t matter what the outcome was, because I was going to bring them and give them out at the retreat either way.
Whether or not I got the “go ahead” to contribute them to the gift bags didn’t matter because if I was told “no”, I was still going to give them out to everyone, I would just have to do it personally.
…And if I did it personally, I would be able to interact with everyone, tell them about my brand and they in return could tell me about their brand. BOOM! Building a tribe one babe at a time.
Then I thought a little deeper, and realized that this applies to so many other things in life. When it comes to something we really want, we don’t wait for someone to give us an opportunity, we go into it full force and design that opportunity for ourselves!
Metaphorically, we don’t knock on the door and wait for someone to open it, we bust that door down and put on a show for the people inside. We make ourselves to be so awe-inspiring, that they can’t ignore us.
Usually in a situation like this I would be discouraged and feel let down if I were told no, but then I realized that I have the capability of shining my light in more ways than just one.
Just because something doesn’t play out exactly the way l had envisioned doesn’t mean that I can’t turn it in to something just as magical if not more than the original idea or plan. This goes for all of us.
And now for the big reveal…less than 24 hours later I got a response from the team and they gave my the YES, the invitation to be a part of the gift bags. I was ecstatic and I can’t wait to create something that will bring everyone to life and let each woman know that anything she is looking for, she has it all within her.
Remember this the next time you are pitching yourself for an opportunity. Instead of hoping/waiting for the opportunity to fall into place perfectly; ask yourself how you can create the result you want without banking on the go ahead from someone else. You got this babe, it’s all within you.

Lifestyle · Things to Consider

Are Your Goals Coming from Your SOUL?

Blue Girl Mural
Rumi Quote
What if you knew that the fulfilling, soul aligned “work” you were in the pursuit of or are currently doing wasn’t entirely your choice, but instead a call to action; a step into your authenticity and who you were meant to be all along?

Would you let go of all of those guilty feelings about quitting the soul crushing 9-5 that you’ve only stayed in because of the status, the decent pay, or the low risk and 401K or because you don’t want to be a let down to the people in your life?

Would you stop questioning yourself for going against the traditional path of life after your friends and family convinced you that you might go broke or that traveling the world alone isn’t safe?

Would you keep investing in yourself without hesitation because you know that the fire within you is not there by accident and your calling is not only going to fulfill your soul, but help other amazing people live the lives they authentically desire?

This is something I’ve been ruminating on for a long time now and just the other day it hit me. There’s a reason why I haven’t been able to ignore my burning desire to step outside my comfort zone and create something magical is because I didn’t choose it; the only thing I am choosing is to follow it. My intuition is trying to awaken me, to step into my power and be my most genuine self and real talk, who am I to argue with my intuition?

Same goes for you babe, who are you to argue with your intuition? You owe it to yourself and to the rest of the world to be everything you were destined to be. And I can tell you one thing for sure, you weren’t destined to spend the majority of your existence in a soul-crushing 9-5 making someone else’s dream come true.

Some people may tell you to wait for a more ideal time, other people may tell you to keep your stable job while you work on this “hobby”. While I definitely encourage you to have a consistent income until you’re able to manifest work-life integration, keep in mind that you also want to have enough free time and energy to work on your passion project.

This doesn’t happen when you’re working a draining 11 hour day, dealing with entitled customers and a manager who is so bought in to the corporate minutiae that he/she only cares about being the next CEO of the company.

So if you need to get a job at a local coffee shop or as the receptionist at a trendy start up, go for it. You might have to make under your life for a little bit, but in the end it will be worth it, not to mention a story to tell.

That being said, I have to ask you…Are your goals aligned with your soul?

2018 is here and now is the time to live your vision.
Each year many of us create goals and plans, but come mid year we have given up or forgotten about them entirely. I never understood why it was so difficult to follow through with New Years resolutions, but a recent Facebook live helped me understand.
Goals have to be coming from YOUR soul in order to be fulfilled.
Last January I attended a vision board workshop at my yoga teacher Gigi Yogini’s yoga studio. One thing I remember being discussed was only putting things on the board that are truly coming from you.
An event because your partner wants to go or applying for a position because your parents want you to were not things to be put on the board designed by you, FOR you.

Even if you think things are coming from inside you, it’s important to keep asking why and ensure that the motivation behind your vision is enough to propel you forward.

One common example is losing weight. Do you want to lose weight to be more attractive to your partner or to look good to impress your best friends and other women?
Although those are good motivators, they are not enough, that is why we give up.
But you know what is…saying you want to lose weight to love the skin you’re in even more and to be able to show others in a similar situation how you did it so they can feel good about themselves too.

The same goes for success in your business whether it be life-coaching, jewelry design, health and nutrition, etc.
Are you launching this business just to look successful in the eyes of others and show the rest of the world that you can work from anywhere? Or are you launching it because it’s what gets you amped up every day, knowing that you will have done your absolute best and can fall asleep with a full heart knowing you are following your bliss. It matters.

Take time for yourself to reflect on what ambitions and authentic desires and plans you have for the upcoming year. Make sure they are coming from your heart, your intuition, your fiery SOUL.
Once you have them all planned out write them out or put them on a vision board then put them in a place you will see them every day this year. Then speak them into the Universe, ask the Universe to be by your side while you pursue this.
Starting today, tell yourself “just one thing” (post about this coming soon). Every single day, do AT LEAST one thing to move you closer to that you want.
-Facebook Live
-Blog Post
-Invest $ into a marketing plan
-Attend a retreat or seminar
-Pitch your product to someone
-Do a 1/2 hour HIIT
-Spend a day designing and making new products
You know what you need to do, and darling, it’s all within you.
And finally, let go of any guilt or second thoughts you may have about pursuing your calling. Because that’s exactly what it is, YOUR calling. You have not chosen it, your calling has chosen YOU! How big of an honor is that? All you are choosing to do is follow it, because it’s meant to be.
Remember this whenever you begin to question whether or not you “should”resort to being “normal”. If you don’t feel normal, it’s because you are meant for a higher purpose. The world needs your gift.




Whose Lifestyle Guidance is For You?

Fucking AmazingCheers in MalibuMalibu MountainThe reality of today is that we live in a very sensitive society.
From an early age, we tend to be told that we can do anything, that we are smart and talented, and that we are beautiful or handsome in every way.
This is wonderful for building self-esteem. While it is true that words of affirmation are important and that we all have gifts that deserve to be celebrated, it has also resulted in a generation of sensitive little flowers.
There are certain realities that people are quick to reject because they live in a bubble and think that others are being unkind when in actuality they are relaying valid, beneficial messages.
There are even things that are intended to be cute or funny (not at anyone’s expense) that people find a reason to complain about.
One good example that I recently heard is when my Bliss Project sister Angie Lee changed the name of her podcast to Rich Bitch. There were women emailing to tell her that the new name was “so offensive”.
The name change was intended to rhyme and be clever and catchy so that listeners would remember it. Well done Angie, I honestly can’t think of a better name for it as the content is mostly about money and building a personal brand. Not to mention it’s HER podcast, therefore she can name it what she wants.
We’re not always going to agree with how people phrase things, however if we choose to dismiss a thought or idea simply because it is not stated in our preferred ways, we are choosing to miss out on information that may be vital to life. Yes choosing.
The other day I was listening to The MFCEO Project Podcast with Andy Frisella.
Anyone who has listened to him even once can tell you he gets straight to the point and is the literal definition of “No BS”.
He swears every other word, has no problem calling people out and using their name, and is very open about when he “1000 % disagrees” with someone.
A lot of people may consider this behavior “offensive” and yet he has an enormous following, an incredibly successful nutrition company, and makes more money in one month than most will make in a lifetime.
Why is this? Simple, because he offers value. What more could you ask for, regardless of how hard-ass he comes off?
There is one thing he mentioned in a recent podcast that really resonated with me.
He was talking about how when you set aspirations, to make them BIG, BIG, BIG! Bigger than you think you want. If you want to make 10 million, be ambitious and say 100 million. Knowing that you have something significant to work for means you will be putting an immense amount of heart and soul into everything you do which will lead you to think outside of the box and go to the ends of earth to make your dream your reality.
He then made a very polarizing statement that really got me thinking…
He said “I know your teachers and counselors who haven’t done shit taught you to set small attainable goals, but small attainable goals is how you earn a small attainable life.”
Blunt, but it couldn’t be more true. Why are we conditioned from a young age to listen and take advice from teachers, guidance counselors, parents, or just adults in general?
What amazing things have they done to make someone else’s life better?
What amazing things have they done to make their own lives worth talking about?
Take a good look at most of the adults that you grew up around and ask yourself… Are they living MY dream life? If the answer is no, then what are you doing taking lifestyle direction from them?
Truly they have done nothing but take a traditional path with low risk and decent reward. While there’s nothing wrong with those career choices, if you’re reading this blog, I know that’s not what you’re about.
I know you have a fire within you and are meant for something deeper.
In Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before, she talks about how all people fall under a certain tendency when it comes to meeting inner and/or outer expectations. My tendency is that of a Questioner. One who needs to ask “why?” when met with an expectation and only follows through if it makes sense and he or she deems it worth it.
There could not be a better description of me and the same held true when I was a kid. I never understood why kids would be told “respect your elders”, “listen to your teachers”, or “parents know best”.
I mean yes, they deserve a certain degree of up front respect, but only because they are human and that is a birthright, not because they are older.
Adults or not, I still believed they needed to earn my respect, it wasn’t just going to be given.
Why in the world would I put someone on a pedestal just because they have more life experience than me?
Now I am no way advocating for being intentionally rebellious or insubordinate, however still to this day I believe in listening to someone because they are an example of something I want, not because they are in a position above me, whether that be an older adult, a manager, or someone trying to give me unsolicited counsel.
I can even remember when I was 18 years old and I would go into a classroom of 6th and 7th graders to tutor every Monday. The teachers told them to use “Miss” before my name and I specifically requested to just be called by my name. In my mind I was their equal and I was there to help, not to make anyone feel like I was above them.
The message I am trying to convey here is that it’s important to be selective of who you take advice, ideas, and direction from.
The people who I follow and whose advice I apply to my own life are the ones who are living a life beyond my wildest dreams. My yoga teachers, my life coaches, people who write books, people who create podcasts, people who plan retreats, people who have seen the world.
Why would I take information from anyone who is living an entirely mediocre existence?
I know in my heart, I do not exist to be mediocre and with all my being, I know you don’t either. Today, I am here to remind you of that.
So next time you find someone giving you life tips, question everything.
-Who are they?
-What have they done to be amazing in this world?
-What kind of life do they currently live?

If they are your person, follow them, find out who they follow, and keep finding ways to create magic until your life is magic.

If they are not your person, wish them well and then find someone who can lead you down the path of higher purpose that you are here for. Gift the world with YOUR badassery.

Lifestyle · Things to Consider

Regret Minimalization

FeathersJungleNorth Stars
Ever since I was a kid, I have struggled to make decisions.
Still to this day, I am reminded that I was the six year old who would stand at the bakery for 20 minutes debating about whether I wanted a chocolate or glazed donut.
I am also not a fan of pros and cons lists. That’s because regardless of which list ends up being longer, there are some factors that hold higher importance than others.
For example, if you’re trying to decide where to go on vacation and the pros are; good food, low prices, and friendly locals and the one con is that the week you plan to go has a high chance of storms for days, that will most likely outweigh all of the positives.

The reason decisions are a challenge for me is because I am very affected by regret.
Although there are very few things I regret in life, things I do end up regretting take a while for me to get over.

Not long ago, I was listening to a podcast that really struck a chord with me and I plan to use this strategy from now on whether decisions are big or small.

The term is called Regret Minimalization.
The truth is that no matter what, there is almost always going to be a drawback to a decision.
Whether that’s expenses, weather, living conditions, people, language barrier, distance, very few times in life is a situation perfect.
What’s amazing though is that often times when we make the right decision, everything feels like paradise so the shortcomings don’t weigh us down. They’re there, but not in a way where we constantly have them on our minds. Life is beautiful that way!

It’s as straightforward as it sounds and relies heavily on intuition. What is something you’re currently going back and forth in your mind about?

-Relocating to another state?
-Taking a hiatus to see other parts of the world?
-Selling everything you have and downsizing to a motorhome?
-Investing thousands into that course that your soul has been calling for forever now?

The list could go on forever, but the debate in your mind can’t.

So next time you are pondering a decision, ask yourself. Which choice am I least likely to regret? It may not come easy, but it will feel peaceful.

I encourage you not to overthink the decision, however it’s more than ok if you need to write down your thoughts and the possible regrets you may have.

Something I have been pondering lately is whether or not I want to leave the United States and experience life in an unfamiliar territory for a while. I imagine myself living in the Jungle near a beach.

Waking up in the mornings to see gratitude offerings of plants, fruits, and vegetables on peoples doorsteps instead of people rushing out the door and pressuring the barista to make their drink as quickly as possible so they are not late to work.

I picture being of service, like helping other women find their true callings, teaching English to those who want to learn, or working on a ranch with sweet animals. I could spend hours in cafes and coffee shops people watching and observing the culture; at the end of my days, my ❤ would be so full.

The second thing I have been pondering is whether or not to hire a life/business coach. I have so many ideas and while I am pursuing them through my blog and art, there is something I don’t know yet that only a coach could teach me. I know that if I want big results, I need to make big changes and take big risks, but the huge financial investment intimidates me.

I didn’t ask to be this way and by way I mean a gypsy soul with a higher calling that involves the road less traveled. It’s more challenging and less secure, nobody wants that.

I could wait a few years before diving right into the unknown and have much more in the bank.
However, if in a year from now I don’t want to be feeling the same dissatisfaction that I feel today, that in itself would be a regret. My heart desires change now and I’m not going to live forever.

Blindly, these two decisions feel incredibly difficult, but when I think of them in terms of regret minimization, the answer is crystal clear.

Why do I tell you this? Because whatever it is that your heart desires and your soul is calling for, you didn’t ask for either.

It’s in you DNA, it’s part of your existence, therefore there is no reason to feel guilty or question if there is something off about you.
It just is, you just are.

With that, I encourage you to block out time for yourself and to find a serene, sacred space to do some soul searching.
Make sure you are not pressed for time or around anyone who will influence your decision.
Be clear on exactly what options you have, ask yourself; Which decision will give me the least amount of regret? Then let your intuition do the rest and your answer will come. And so it is…<3


Design a Life of “I Get To”

Latte ArtDrinking RoseWhat you do today is important

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I’m all about being real.
Not only in the context of always being myself and wanting you to be yourself, but also accepting what is even if a situation is flat out crummy.
Although I am an optimist and do support being positive in the midst of unfavorable circumstances, I don’t think it’s beneficial to look for the bright side in every single situation; as that’s what I call false optimism. If a situation sucks, it’s ok to say “This downright sucks!”, why pretend?
Hear me out….
Lately I’ve been ruminating on the subject of “I have to vs. I get to”.
It has come up numerous times in the past several months and a couple of weeks ago, a conversation lead me to seeing this phrase in a more ideal light.
Most of the time when I have heard this, it’s been in the context of work life.
Without thinking about it, most people say “I have to go to work”, especially when expressing dissatisfaction in a career.
Some believe that others would benefit from a change in vocabulary and instead say “I get to go to work” because although he or she may not enjoy his or her position, it is paying for everything that person has. Simply put, an attitude of gratitude.
While it is true to some degree that changing your vocabulary can shift your mindset and make a condition more endurable, we can only trick our minds so much before it wears off. In my experience, this approach is not effective over the long term. Other common examples are:
-“I have to get a workout in”
-“I have to eat healthy”
-“I have to have my coffee to function”
-“I have to meet my friend after work” (because there’s no other good time).

What if instead of modifying our minds, we actually designed a life where we could say “I get to” and mean it? How life changing would it be to not feel the mental weight of “having” to do something but instead choosing to do something. Having a lifestyle of options…
Well here’s the undisclosed…the only way to live a life of “I get to” is to have more time.
In my opinion, waking up to an alarm clock five days per week with barely enough time to enjoy your morning coffee just to go somewhere for minimum 8 hours plus a commute leaving barely enough time for a workout, dinner, and possibly an hour of free time sounds like a drag. And for nothing but a pay check?
Life is the most precious gift anyone could ever have and spending it in monotony for decades sounds like a complete misuse and lack of acknowledgement.

Believe it or not, when you choose to do something, your body responds to it in a whole different way than when you are doing something because it’s the only option you have.

Most people with 9-5s work out in the very early morning or right after work because it is the only option they have other than skipping it all together.
While I give those people props, those workouts are not nearly as powerful as when you are not on a time limit.
Think about it…When you’re working out in the early morning you are under pressure to get everything plus a shower in because you don’t want to be late to your job. You are also not fully present because you have to be conscious of time…Well guess what, your body recognizes this.
When you work out in the evenings, you’re using what little glycogen and energy you have left from the day to squeeze in a workout. Because of this, we tend not to push ourselves as hard as we would have if we weren’t burned out from the day. Well guess what, your body recognizes this too!
All of these factors contribute to your stress levels, hormone levels, dopamine levels, etc…This applies to so many things, not just working out.

Imagine a life of listening to your body and intuition.
Waking up to the sun on your face instead of before the sun rises because you’re getting the rest your body wants and your soul deserves.
Savoring every bit of that espresso and having the time to make yourself a cold pressed juice to go along.
Being mentally prepared to hit the gym or that beach yoga class because you’re a boss babe and you want to. And finishing strong because you CAN!
Spending most days in bliss because you have work-life integration and are helping other beauties find their callings.
But at the same time, being able to cry for as long as you need on certain days because you don’t have to put on a show for an office full of people and respond with “good and yours?” when they ask how your day is going.
Being able to schedule an out-of-the-blue spa day with your girlfriends because you GET to, not because you requested it two weeks in advance.
Staying up past midnight watching your favorite show because you’re on YOUR time and don’t have to worry about waking up at a specific hour just to make someone else a little richer.

This is what we all desire and no it’s not just for trophy wives and girls with rich parents. It’s possible, it’s within you, and it’s sure not going to happen working a 9-5 for the next forty years.

With that, I encourage you to step into yourself. What calls you, what sets YOUR soul on fire? Whatever it is, that’s what you’re meant to be doing and that’s how you will create a life of “I get to”.

We’re all called to different paths, therefore I can’t tell you exactly the steps needed to pursue this vision, but what I can tell you is to take the first step and let the universe know you’re ready. The time is now. You’re a Boss Girl, you deserve it, and it’s all within you.


Are You Building Your Empire?

Chiara and IHell YesElena Cardone
I’ve heard it at least 3x in a matter of five days…once after I was fatefully invited to a very intimate gathering at the W Hotel in LA to hear a beautiful self-made boss babe Chiara Mazzucco speak about designing and manifesting your ideal future.
The second and third time I heard in the very place I am sitting right now as I write this at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas for Cole Hatter’s Thrive: Make Money Matter event that I’ve been looking forward to for months now.
Let me give you a little bit of perspective on where I stand when it comes to the people I associate and collaborate with…
Every single social event I attend is consciously and intentionally thought out before I make a decision. It may only take a matter of 10 seconds to decide, but that’s because I am very aware of what my ethics are and if it doesn’t allign with them, it’s an automatic no-go.
Marie Forleo has a quote that lights my soul on fire: “If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes’, its a ‘No'”. I live that phrase out on a daily basis.
Right now, I do currently have a 9-5 position; and while I’m grateful to have a consistent income, it’s truthfully nothing more than my temporary angel investor.
Because that is the case, I choose not to attend any of the office Happy Hours or become friends outside of the workplace with my colleagues.
Why? Because they don’t have the same values or ethics that I do, so why would I misuse time I can never get back on something that gives me no ROI? This says nothing about my co-workers other than that they are simply not my people and that is more than ok. It probably means I am not the one for them either.
During Chiara’s very powerful speech, she mentioned a perspective on Happy Hours that I had never thought of before…If you think deeply enough, why do we have them and what happens during them?
We have them because our work is stressful, hours are long, and clients/customers are difficult. Therefore we resort to adult beverages in attempts to get a buzz and temporarily forget about work.
Now what usually happens during Happy Hour?
We complain, we make light of aggravating customer situations, and we partake in what often turns in to binge drinking which is not a healthy choice for your body. And if you think deeper, what are we really doing?…Giving each other permission to think small, or in Chiara’s words “Reducing one another to smallness”. There’s nothing positive or beneficial about complaining while trying to drink our problems away. How does that move anyone forward?
That brings me to the absolutely fierce, badass, incredible Elena Cardone . Her message and demeanor have empowered me like no other woman has before. No lie, if someone wants to give me lessons on how to be just like her, I will take you up on that offer.
At Thrive, each speaker had his or her own subject to talk about; Elena’s topic was “Empire”. The very first words that she spoke after walking on stage were “You’re either building your empire, or you’re destroying it”.
Most people don’t even realize they have an empire, but the reality is, we all do. You get to decide what it is and what you stand for.
❤ Your Family
❤ Your Personal Brand
❤ Your Business
❤ Your Career
❤ You Dream Life
❤ Your Tribe
❤ Your Home
It's your
empire, so let that sink in, goddess…With every decision you make, you are either contributing to it, or taking away from it.
I always like to use myself as an example. My empire is my personal brand.
While I am in the self-help industry, my desire is to be up on stage at Thrive someday and to have my own version of Lori Harder’s The Bliss Project.
I want to personally coach women to be the absolute most authentic versions of themselves, and to have a podcast.
It’s going to happen, it’s already happening, but only if I continue to make decisions that will build and make it stronger. A Happy Hour is not included in that.
Why? For several reasons:

1. If I were to go, I would’t be surrounded by my tribe. My bliss sisters, others in the self-thrive world, the women I know from goddess circles, my best friends who support my business and hold me accountable, and the people I meet at my regular yoga classes.

2. When you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. One thing I can say I am really proud of is the fact that I make very wise use of my time. (Today is Saturday, my only day off and instead of sleeping in or having a lazy day, I am writing for my blog, my empire) The same goes for after work, I don’t watch TV until 10 pm or spend the night out partying, or in bed scrolling through IG. I work on what is important to me. If I said yes to Happy Hour, I would be saying no to my dreams.

3. Finally (although there are a million more reasons) it would give me no return on investment. Sure, maybe drinks would give temporary pleasure, but after the buzz fades, what would I be left with? It may only be one blog post, one chapter in my book, one accountability phone call with my mastermind group, but at least it would be something tangible that I created. Something that I can say I learned from that will build my brand, my dream, my future.

Now don’t take this to the extreme, I am by no means saying that going out for the occasional cocktail is something to avoid. We all deserve to let loose and do mindless and fun things once in a while. The way life works is that we take one step back for every couple of steps forward.
I mean, what is the point of building your empire if you don’t get to reap any rewards or take a break from the hustle?
But, I encourage you to choose with consciousness and not say yes to opportunities that will later mean nothing to you.
Before you say yes, consider the essentials:
1. Who will I be spending the next couple of hours with and what role does he/she play in my life?
2. Will I be saying “no” to something that means a lot to me?
3. What will the ROI be and is it worthwhile?

If when you answer these questions, you come to the conclusion that you are attending or participating in something “just because”, what you’re really doing is reducing yourself to smallness. You’re worth more than that darling.

That being said, give yourself the gift of deciding what your empire is and really owning it. It can be anything authentic to you that makes you happy, there is no right or wrong answer. Consider your empire each and every time you are given an opportunity; will you be building it or destroying it? Acknowledging and remembering that time is the most important thing in the world and something you can never get back therefore, “If it’s not a ‘Hell YES’ it’s a ‘no'”.



Chiara Mazzucco

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