Things to Consider

I’m Not that into Music… I’m also Not Judging Myself

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It’s so interesting how ideas end up coming to fruition.
So often I will have an idea for a blog post and the majority of content magically writes itself but when it comes to the punch line, I can’t put it into words as perfectly as it makes sense in my mind.
Then I will be listening to something, a podcast, an interview, or even just the sounds of the universe and just like magic, the missing puzzle pieces will come together to manifest the words to the content that I had in my mind.
I am the type of person that always has a
million thoughts going through my head.
And not just any ideas, ideas that are in alignment with my diving assignment. For that reason, I can’t let myself part with them. That is a big reason, I like to bask in silence a lot of the time.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always preferred to have no music on while driving.
At the current phase of my life, I do a lot of driving and as you can imagine, living in LA means long commutes even just to the coffee shop down the street.
I’ve recently noticed that as soon as I turn on or get into a vehicle I subconsciously turn off the radio no matter how loud the volume is or what type of music, even non-lyrical. When I get into a vehicle with loud music playing, it severely interferes with my zen. It also interrupts my thoughts, and as a content creator and deep thinker, I can’t allow for that to happen.
Majority of the time I have so many ideas and thoughts going through my head that having background noise interrupts the flow and a possible breakthrough.
I’ve also noticed that often times I can get half way through an hour long drive before I realize that I haven’t had anything playing in the background the entire time. And to be honest, I love it that way. I don’t bother turning anything on once I’ve become aware.
When in a car with someone else, usually the first thing I hear is “What kind of music do you listen to?” and while there are a handful of songs that I listen to because they speak to my soul, contrary to my early teenage years I’m just not that into music; therefore my answer is “I like to listen to podcasts while driving”. Most people are pretty taken back when they hear that.
To be honest, I can’t even really come up with a favorite music artist or even song for that matter.
I even remember back to my college days when my best friend and I would be studying together and could never agree on whether or not to have something playing. She preferred to have light, relaxing songs while we worked, and I preferred no background noise and us just casually talking.
While most mornings, I look forward to listening to a broadening podcast to set the tone for the day and give me ideas, often times in the middle of the day or evenings, I want to hear nothing more than my own thoughts.
By nature, I always want to feel productive but when it’s time to zen out and just let my mind wander, I don’t want to hear anything.
It’s taken me a while to realize that this is my own preference and it’s perfectly ok.
In the world that we live in today, it’s very common to get caught in the comparison trap. With social media giving us so much access to the inside of other peoples lives, it’s only natural to look at your life side-by-side with someone else’s.
For so long I felt like I was “weird” for not enjoying music the same way my peers did.
I can think back to college, when everyone around me had thousands of songs on their iPod, and I had under 100 and didn’t even know how to download songs without having to pay for them. In fact, I still don’t.
I even remember days when I would spend my free time researching bands and artists that I had heard of just to find new music that wasn’t my preference to add more songs to my playlist.
But in retrospect, why? Not being interested in something is entirely normal. Just because the masses are into something doesn’t mean I have to be or you have to be.
So much of my young-life, I was judged by those closest to me for my personality.
I would here things like…
“When we were at that birthday party, you didn’t even want to dance”
And
“Why do you want to be home by 10? You’re such an old lady”
And because of that I felt like something was off about me simply because of my preference. But the fact is, I didn’t choose this; it’s a part of my biology.
Just because so many other people enjoy music I’m supposed to as well?
It took me time to accept this about myself. It wasn’t until I realized that no matter how hard I tried to love music, it just wasn’t me.
Then I looked a little deeper and when I realized that my thoughts, ideas, and content were more important than music (and so was my self development) podcasts, audio books; I realized that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Regardless of what anyone else thought.
That being said, I invite you to examine your life, your world, your existence. Is there part of your life that is only there because you feel like it’s “supposed to be”?
Is there anything that is taking up space that if you let go of it, you would be able to hold space for something else?
In my case, it’s inspiration and content creation. I’d so much rather have that than music. Therefore, I no longer judge or try to change myself for what I naturally gravitate towards and there’s no reason for you to either.
In life, there is truly nothing that you are “supposed” to do other than be a decent member of society and follow your calling. If you are in alignment with your divine assignment, you are light years ahead of most of the world and I celebrate you.

Lifestyle · Things to Consider

Are Your Goals Coming from Your SOUL?

Blue Girl Mural
Rumi Quote
What if you knew that the fulfilling, soul aligned “work” you were in the pursuit of or are currently doing wasn’t entirely your choice, but instead a call to action; a step into your authenticity and who you were meant to be all along?

Would you let go of all of those guilty feelings about quitting the soul crushing 9-5 that you’ve only stayed in because of the status, the decent pay, or the low risk and 401K or because you don’t want to be a let down to the people in your life?

Would you stop questioning yourself for going against the traditional path of life after your friends and family convinced you that you might go broke or that traveling the world alone isn’t safe?

Would you keep investing in yourself without hesitation because you know that the fire within you is not there by accident and your calling is not only going to fulfill your soul, but help other amazing people live the lives they authentically desire?

This is something I’ve been ruminating on for a long time now and just the other day it hit me. There’s a reason why I haven’t been able to ignore my burning desire to step outside my comfort zone and create something magical is because I didn’t choose it; the only thing I am choosing is to follow it. My intuition is trying to awaken me, to step into my power and be my most genuine self and real talk, who am I to argue with my intuition?

Same goes for you babe, who are you to argue with your intuition? You owe it to yourself and to the rest of the world to be everything you were destined to be. And I can tell you one thing for sure, you weren’t destined to spend the majority of your existence in a soul-crushing 9-5 making someone else’s dream come true.

Some people may tell you to wait for a more ideal time, other people may tell you to keep your stable job while you work on this “hobby”. While I definitely encourage you to have a consistent income until you’re able to manifest work-life integration, keep in mind that you also want to have enough free time and energy to work on your passion project.

This doesn’t happen when you’re working a draining 11 hour day, dealing with entitled customers and a manager who is so bought in to the corporate minutiae that he/she only cares about being the next CEO of the company.

So if you need to get a job at a local coffee shop or as the receptionist at a trendy start up, go for it. You might have to make under your life for a little bit, but in the end it will be worth it, not to mention a story to tell.

That being said, I have to ask you…Are your goals aligned with your soul?

2018 is here and now is the time to live your vision.
Each year many of us create goals and plans, but come mid year we have given up or forgotten about them entirely. I never understood why it was so difficult to follow through with New Years resolutions, but a recent Facebook live helped me understand.
Goals have to be coming from YOUR soul in order to be fulfilled.
Last January I attended a vision board workshop at my yoga teacher Gigi Yogini’s yoga studio. One thing I remember being discussed was only putting things on the board that are truly coming from you.
An event because your partner wants to go or applying for a position because your parents want you to were not things to be put on the board designed by you, FOR you.

Even if you think things are coming from inside you, it’s important to keep asking why and ensure that the motivation behind your vision is enough to propel you forward.

One common example is losing weight. Do you want to lose weight to be more attractive to your partner or to look good to impress your best friends and other women?
Although those are good motivators, they are not enough, that is why we give up.
But you know what is…saying you want to lose weight to love the skin you’re in even more and to be able to show others in a similar situation how you did it so they can feel good about themselves too.

The same goes for success in your business whether it be life-coaching, jewelry design, health and nutrition, etc.
Are you launching this business just to look successful in the eyes of others and show the rest of the world that you can work from anywhere? Or are you launching it because it’s what gets you amped up every day, knowing that you will have done your absolute best and can fall asleep with a full heart knowing you are following your bliss. It matters.

Take time for yourself to reflect on what ambitions and authentic desires and plans you have for the upcoming year. Make sure they are coming from your heart, your intuition, your fiery SOUL.
Once you have them all planned out write them out or put them on a vision board then put them in a place you will see them every day this year. Then speak them into the Universe, ask the Universe to be by your side while you pursue this.
Starting today, tell yourself “just one thing” (post about this coming soon). Every single day, do AT LEAST one thing to move you closer to that you want.
-Facebook Live
-Vlog
-Blog Post
-Invest $ into a marketing plan
-Attend a retreat or seminar
-Pitch your product to someone
-Do a 1/2 hour HIIT
-Spend a day designing and making new products
You know what you need to do, and darling, it’s all within you.
And finally, let go of any guilt or second thoughts you may have about pursuing your calling. Because that’s exactly what it is, YOUR calling. You have not chosen it, your calling has chosen YOU! How big of an honor is that? All you are choosing to do is follow it, because it’s meant to be.
Remember this whenever you begin to question whether or not you “should”resort to being “normal”. If you don’t feel normal, it’s because you are meant for a higher purpose. The world needs your gift.

xoxo,

KB

Lifestyle · Things to Consider

Regret Minimalization

FeathersJungleNorth Stars
Ever since I was a kid, I have struggled to make decisions.
Still to this day, I am reminded that I was the six year old who would stand at the bakery for 20 minutes debating about whether I wanted a chocolate or glazed donut.
I am also not a fan of pros and cons lists. That’s because regardless of which list ends up being longer, there are some factors that hold higher importance than others.
For example, if you’re trying to decide where to go on vacation and the pros are; good food, low prices, and friendly locals and the one con is that the week you plan to go has a high chance of storms for days, that will most likely outweigh all of the positives.

The reason decisions are a challenge for me is because I am very affected by regret.
Although there are very few things I regret in life, things I do end up regretting take a while for me to get over.

Not long ago, I was listening to a podcast that really struck a chord with me and I plan to use this strategy from now on whether decisions are big or small.

The term is called Regret Minimalization.
The truth is that no matter what, there is almost always going to be a drawback to a decision.
Whether that’s expenses, weather, living conditions, people, language barrier, distance, very few times in life is a situation perfect.
What’s amazing though is that often times when we make the right decision, everything feels like paradise so the shortcomings don’t weigh us down. They’re there, but not in a way where we constantly have them on our minds. Life is beautiful that way!

It’s as straightforward as it sounds and relies heavily on intuition. What is something you’re currently going back and forth in your mind about?

-Relocating to another state?
-Taking a hiatus to see other parts of the world?
-Selling everything you have and downsizing to a motorhome?
-Investing thousands into that course that your soul has been calling for forever now?

The list could go on forever, but the debate in your mind can’t.

So next time you are pondering a decision, ask yourself. Which choice am I least likely to regret? It may not come easy, but it will feel peaceful.

I encourage you not to overthink the decision, however it’s more than ok if you need to write down your thoughts and the possible regrets you may have.

Something I have been pondering lately is whether or not I want to leave the United States and experience life in an unfamiliar territory for a while. I imagine myself living in the Jungle near a beach.

Waking up in the mornings to see gratitude offerings of plants, fruits, and vegetables on peoples doorsteps instead of people rushing out the door and pressuring the barista to make their drink as quickly as possible so they are not late to work.

I picture being of service, like helping other women find their true callings, teaching English to those who want to learn, or working on a ranch with sweet animals. I could spend hours in cafes and coffee shops people watching and observing the culture; at the end of my days, my ❤ would be so full.

The second thing I have been pondering is whether or not to hire a life/business coach. I have so many ideas and while I am pursuing them through my blog and art, there is something I don’t know yet that only a coach could teach me. I know that if I want big results, I need to make big changes and take big risks, but the huge financial investment intimidates me.

I didn’t ask to be this way and by way I mean a gypsy soul with a higher calling that involves the road less traveled. It’s more challenging and less secure, nobody wants that.

I could wait a few years before diving right into the unknown and have much more in the bank.
However, if in a year from now I don’t want to be feeling the same dissatisfaction that I feel today, that in itself would be a regret. My heart desires change now and I’m not going to live forever.

Blindly, these two decisions feel incredibly difficult, but when I think of them in terms of regret minimization, the answer is crystal clear.

Why do I tell you this? Because whatever it is that your heart desires and your soul is calling for, you didn’t ask for either.

It’s in you DNA, it’s part of your existence, therefore there is no reason to feel guilty or question if there is something off about you.
It just is, you just are.

With that, I encourage you to block out time for yourself and to find a serene, sacred space to do some soul searching.
Make sure you are not pressed for time or around anyone who will influence your decision.
Be clear on exactly what options you have, ask yourself; Which decision will give me the least amount of regret? Then let your intuition do the rest and your answer will come. And so it is…<3

Lifestyle · Things to Consider

Whose Opinion is Significant?

Clock PhotoNow PhotoRoom full of people quoteCity Overlook

One of the most amazing things about life is that everyone is different.
While most of the time we don’t slow down to consciously contemplate it, difference is what allows us to have a variety of experiences.
-Have you ever walked into a restaurant or hotel and been so floored with the theme or decor that you can’t even believe someone came up with it?

-Have you ever browsed a boutique that you were so in awe of that you desperately wish you would have come up with it first?

-Have you ever met up with someone after they went on an extended vacation or did a long-term, life-changing project in another part of the world to find out that their already amazing self had been changed for the better?
Or maybe even been traveling the world yourself to become in awe that there are people who live so simply, peacefully, lavishly, etc.

We all have, and all of this is due to each person having individual experiences.
Our experiences are what inspire our creative endeavors, preferences, and our decisions.

A big part of lifestyle design is what we’ve been through, what we’ve chosen to participate in, the things we’ve been surrounded by, and the people we have spent our time around.

How profound and interesting is that?

While new experiences and difference can lead to memories, insight, and pleasure; often times it can also lead to conflict of interest.

The reality is; we won’t be mentally synchronized with everyone, and the truth be told, why would we even want to?

Allow me to speak from my own perspective and experience. Ever since The Bliss Project this past year, I have been motivated like I never have before and now have a much deeper understanding of who I am and what I want.

I have been determined to become my bombshell self and to both START & FINISH my creative endeavors and ideas before any “Big Magic” occurs.

Some to the personal changes I have made are:
*making health a priority
*spending more time in nature
*launching my art and lettering business
*blogging again
*starting the process of becoming self-employed

As you can imagine with this has come numerous opinions and a ton of unsolicited advice and feedback.
One thing I have learned from Goddess Circles is the importance of letting people express themselves without asking questions or giving council or recommendations. This is what goes back to speaking one at a time with a talking piece.
It’s so important to realize that when people choose to share something that they are doing, building, or going through with you, they have enough confidence that you can and will be attentive to what they are saying without judging.

Even though it may be unintentional, giving unsolicited advice is indirectly judging someone. It’s a way of telling someone that “there is a better way”, “this could be improved”, or “if I were you, I would do this”.

While giving advice can improve as well as make circumstances easier on someone, it’s best to ask whether or not that person would like a second opinion before openly giving it.

You can simply ask something along the lines of “Are you open to feedback?” or “Would you like an opinion from an outside perspective?”

In my experience, most people are receptive and will give you the green light to share feedback. However, if that doesn’t end up being the case, it’s not something to (necessarily) get hurt over.

It could simply mean that the person is perfectly satisfied keeping things the way they are and always have been.
Other times, it may be that the person only wants feedback from a person who has established credibility. I am an example of that, I will explain.

Brené Brown has a quote that really resonates with me:

“If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”

At this time in my life, I am incredibly focused and truthfully am only choosing to work on things that will move me forward to the future I design for myself.

Nobody can pour from an empty cup, so in order to make a difference in the world, I need to have my own life as together as possible.
I’ve decided that the time is NOW.

That being said, there are a very select few people I associate with and those people, along with the ones I have chosen as my life coaches, and the self-help gurus I choose to follow, are the ONLY people whose opinions I value currently. My closest friends, my Bliss Babes, the Warrior Women who come to circle, the self-thrive community, and that’s it.

Why? Because they have ONE of TWO things…

!. A proven track record of success in EXACTLY what it is I want to do with my life

2. Similar interests and values that show me that we can be stronger together

In the words of Brené Brown, they are also in the arena getting their a** kicked.

Earlier this year,a person who I had just met and barely had any conversation with made a comment to me that they “knew” I had it smooth my entire life, and never had to fight for anything I wanted.

While I’m glad that I can make my life look perfect and glamorous, that statement was SO far from the truth, I couldn’t even be a little bit offended. I also didn’t value that person’s opinion or perspective which made it easier to disregard. Anyone who ‘actually’ knows me personally, can tell you I have worked and fought like Hell to be who I am today. Why would I have wanted feedback from someone who literally knew nothing about me?

The same goes for…

-Would you trust an out-of-shape person to be your trainer?

-Would you ask a chronically anxious, overly hyper, worried-all-the-time person to show you meditation?

Obviously not, and the same goes for opinions…

We are all different and that’s beautiful. However, because of that reality, we may encounter thoughts and opinions we didn’t ask for.

It’s entirely your choice whether you want to accept, decline, or listen and disregard the feedback others give you.
For me (right now), if you’re not in my tribe, I don’t want it.

Why? Because unless we can collaborate to make one another better, or that person is living the life of my dreams, I’m probably not interested in what they have to say about what I’m doing.

Joel Osteen has the perfect quote about this:
“Not every person is going to understand you and that’s ok. They have (every) right to their opinion and you have every right to ignore it.”

What about you? Please share<3